CONFUSION

innosence like a kid
The glow is so white ,feels like a midst
From there rose an angel with a grin
Eyes so nice,nowhere to be seen
"You are a jerk" is what she said
The soul within filled with hate
Is it me or the moment?
I really didn't know what she meant
Mysteries and uncertainities filled my thoughts
Confusion from her is what i bought
I feel guilty everytime i go to past
I really hope this pain does not last
Those precious moments when u reacted
Seems now so brilliantly acted
You sounded so different
Hope ur thought are not so bent
In the end of the day its me who will repent
For coming so close to you ,when u went...
Thought that i would stop here
But ur thoughts drags me near
To write bout u seems so easy
As thoughts of u makes me messy
My vocabs bar my thoughts
I can try , but today ....i will not

scattered notes from my diary
mood: nostalgic

As the butterfly screams throught the midst of the night
The clattering sound of the black horse riding knight
Afraid , i dont know where to run
Hope its my dream , but am supposed to have none
This insomnia that clinges my body
Those sleepy nights when i cant control my mind
So i look at my pulsating veins with an unstoppable desire to cut it...........

COMBINED

Moving along the timeline in segments,
thinking of the surrounding from un-figured eyes
as I see changing me,to know more.
And loving the endless flow of water along the shore.

Music gives my freedom to mind,
as my brain works in full swing ;
but i drown in the sea of emotion
with my sweet baby of invention.

Dirty grasshopper still resides in one corner.
Well of infinite depth is where my brain lies.
The uncontrollable mind scribbles the wall;
I cant see in the dark hold me the light as i may fall.

Addiction of utilizing every moment in enjoyment,
I forgot the sacrifice part.
Didnt realize this when i was sane,
the outcomes are now driving me insane.

I feel i have seen everything i wanted,
but the need never ends.
I hate the chemicals inside me ;
fulfill them please ,but who is she?

Combining power and knowledge,i am dumb
I am alone in a boat in ocean
searching an island to settle down.
To create a world with no one to wear the crown.

14th


I knew it was true ;
14th is the luckiest day.
The birth of me and my rebirth,
when everything goes the perfect way.

Starts with the amazement of meeting her
and facing homely situations
seeing her amazingly beautiful childhood,
compare to, the world seems so rude.

Eating and enjoying in homely atmosphere,
followed by slow rhythm and me beside her.
Coffee and cake and practical flirting
and then what happened in the taxi,I don't know anything.

Finally landed in Tanay's shoes
walked to the rhythm house.
Light jazz with my favorite mate,
then i did something for which i couldn't wait

Landing perfectly in the end of the perfect day
with memories inside my heart.
Sitting in my old different room corner
When will these things again repeat with her?....

WAKE UP

It was late in the night as "the call" almost engrossed me
I almost forgot I was in home in night at 2
discussion with my cute baby...
who was sleeping beside her daddy

Words of fun and frolic and weird situations,
a little bit quarrel and fidgety behavior ;
some mischievous plans and sharing moments,
as she was hiding in her bed sheet tent.

We were making plans of spending precious time
Of how fast we can come close to each other.
It was evident from the words,
that no one can stop her.

Suddenly!!! to my greatest surprise
The room got brighter !!
Behind the darkness of the room
Appeared the greatest "MOM"

The time was too brief to decide
I dropped the phone
it landed on my shoulder
So.....i had to face all the questions from her.

She questioned about my health and behavior
But there is much more important thing called 'emotion'.
I know she understands that feelings,
I want her to understand more, am waiting .......

UN-THING

Unnatural robots moving around,

with confused mind and thoughts.
You try to act smart and different
wonder where the nature went.

Unwanted fashion flashes around,
brilliance of skin covered.
The lights go round and round,
to try the easiest way to get you down.

Passionless bangs and jumps,
smoke and alcohol of unwanted taste;
goes on to make you crazy.
A difference from normal reaction is what makes you happy.

DUSK TILL DAWN

As i go restless with the falling sun
my unrest mindsearches for more
I think this hunger never stops
as my nose smells through weed crops

The pavement full of ambitious couple
I walk alone to find rest of mind
I reach the corner of the ground
Travelled by dogs ,black and brown

Uncombed hair to cover my head
carrying things to keep myself busy
Talking and whistling of the beautiful beings
as I try to do the logical things.

Crooked reasons surrounding thoughts;
As i close my eyes I see my closest mate,
searchin her among the dirty crowd
i dont know what to do....should i shout?

I have stopped thinking about the near ones,
to know more about the unknown.
I wonder how I have grown ;
but in the end what i do is mourn

Marked out as the stupidest one.
Is it the motivation of my improvement?
Or is it hatred?
I want the answer now;
for its been long since i waited.

From dusk till dawn i think like a madman.
Give me my idol i cant wait any longer.
You think there is nothing i bother about;
am i stupid?....or am i just proud?






-----------------------------------------------------------------------

INVENT

hold the gun pointed at my head
tribal thoughts junk in my head
shoot them away one last time
oh you freed my mind

one last time say that you need me
picturise me in front of you
i will crawl safely into your arms
oh! you r the one its so true

i came to realise what i waited for
with you beside me i can imagine anything
of the distant future lands
and about all the friendly beings

i just dont want to stop talking to u
i know u want it too
may be our survival will be at stake
but i promise ,we will invent

as the heat flows between us
drawing us close time to time
even if we try not to
we promise of making love all night

opening our heart and mind
we talk of anything
of weird topics
it so seems that u always sing

from dusk till dawn
lying down still in a lawn
with all the tensions gone
just like watching the last sun

bright stars falling on us
round moon shows no time
the green grass beneath us
i felt sleeping is crime

i don't know what love is
but i still say "i love u "
my innocent crooked mind says i need u
i want to find myself in u

i will rip ur heart and go inside
if u dont allow me
i will break through thousand walls
and ury myself inside Adam's tree

my other side says "shame on u"
i cant say a word cause have given all
know that my life flows like an unknown river
and now its your call .